Boundaries Are Friggin’ Tricky

Creating Boundaries and Sticking To Them - The Calm Collective

I’m going to go ahead and just say it — Sometimes, I suck at sticking to my own.

I’m a people pleaser by nature, which is one of the main reasons that I decided to make this life change 1.5 years ago.  I hated the pressure it made me carry, and I hated that in trying to make others happy before myself, I was always left depleted and run down.

But when it comes to my job, a job that I love, saying no has come to be one of my biggest challenges. As a small business owner, having a fruitful savings account is incredibly important. So when an inquiry comes through that’s insanely inconvenient with my schedule, I’m always fighting tooth and nail with myself on the “yes vs no” debacle.

Do I say yes and give away my one day off to recharge? Or do I say no and miss out on x amount of money that could go straight into my retirement savings or towards my next big trip?

Last week, I was close to having a melt down as I completely overlooked the boundaries I had set in motion for myself, and found myself shedding tears over the phone to my sister.

So here’s how I fixed it. 

I went into my iCalendar (which is the first place I look when clients contact me about photo shoots) — and I blocked off 2 days a week, each week, for the next two months with a bright orange background and typed: “YOU NEED REST”  

See how I didn’t just block it off with a color?  Nor did I write “UNAVAILABLE”

By telling myself “I need rest” and reading that when I access my calendar, my mind immediately shifts back into healthy patterns of giving myself the space to recharge, taking care of my body, and respecting my own boundaries.

Remember a couple of weeks ago when I encouraged you to give yourself grace and forgiveness when you slip out from time to time?

Here it is. Grace. Forgiveness. In its truest form.

I hit a rock, but I didn’t hit bottom.

I simply shifted what wasn’t working, and began again.

How To Create & Stick To Your Personal Boundaries - The Calm Collective