Some thoughts on “Give & Take”

The Important Thing To Know About Give and Take - The Calm Collective

Have you ever been in a relationship either with a partner or a family member, or maybe a friendship that felt like it was completely one sided? 

I remember back in middle school and high school, I felt like all I did was give, getting nothing in return. Well maybe not nothing, but certainly not to the degree of what i was offering up. 

What a frustrating way to live. Seriously. 


The Ultimate Guide to Every Day Self Care - The Calm Collective

It wasn’t until I had a talk with my sister where I broke down – no doubt feeling exhausted by how much energy I was exerting to all of those I loved, and feeling disappointed in the end time and time again – that I realized I was going about this all wrong. 

I had forgotten that not everyone loves the way I love.

I had forgotten that not everyone speaks the same language in relationships.

I had forgotten to neutralize my expectations (not lower them), so that people could love me the best way that they knew how. 

I had forgotten that waiting to receive something in return isn’t what giving, loving, is about.

The Important Thing To Know About Give and Take - The Calm Collective

By expecting people to love us exactly how we love them, to mirror our giving and always reciprocate, is a sure fire way to lead any relationship – platonic or otherwise – straight into the ground.

So if you’re anything like the old me, giving and not receiving to the same degree, let the toxicity around it go.

Free not only your loved ones from that burden, but free yourself. 

Watch what happens.

You’ll start to recognize one of two things: that the way they love you is beautiful as is – that it’s more than enough, or that the way they love you isn’t aligning with what you need.

Both are valuable things to know.


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