Hello you beautiful humans. And happy October 1st! This is by far my favorite month of the year (although I’m truthfully not a huge fan of Halloween), but the fall season gives me all the feels, and I’m making sure to soak in all of these 60* and sunny days we’re having. I even bought this for my patio which will be here later this week!
But I’m not here to talk about the weather. I know it’s been quiet around here for the past two months, and I’m finally breaking the silence and coming back to regular posting with fresh eyes and a clear heart. Speaking of which – the truth of the matter is that for those past couple of months, I had been going through some serious heartache and transitioning into another chapter in my life. It’s so deeply personal, and out of respect on all fronts I’m keeping it close and choosing to not to delve into it. So you can see my conundrum, right? I’ve always shown up and talked about transitions I’m going through with all of you. I’ve always disclosed what’s working, what isn’t. What hurts, what feels good. How I got from point A to point B. But this time around, all I can tell you is that my intuition is in protection mode, and I’m honoring that.
It turns out that being open and honest with your life in the hopes of helping others, all while ensuring you keep your boundaries in tact, is a bit tricky to navigate when you’re in the industry of conscious blogging.
I will tell you that life is weird right now as I’m embarking on some major changes. Lovely, exciting, scary, but mostly weird changes. Last month (August – early September) I spent time out on the west coast being with friends, seeing my sister, and floating around LA by myself where I was trying it on as new potential home. My intuition was screaming that I needed to go there – and you know what? It was 100% right. I did need to go there – to realize that running away doesn’t solve a single thing. To deal with pain, heartache, discomfort, etc, we have to go inward and sit in the uncomfortable. Although big changes like this are so fucking scary – being forced to leave our previous situation and begin again – when this happens we’re also forced to take risks, to dream bigger, to take the lessons that we learned and use them to grow and propel ourselves forward towards fresh experiences. That’s the way I’m chasing to look at it, anyway, and it’s made all the difference in healing.
As of this moment I can’t really say much because I’m honestly not sure of much. But what I can tell you is that I’m embracing every single moment and taking it all as it comes. I’m surrounding myself with my amazing friends, spending time in the city I (will always) love the most, creating some of my best work to date, taking risks, and quite honestly? I’m blowing myself away with my resilience – both mentally and physically (eh em, moving dressers into my place by myself, driving a HUGE painting on top of the roof of my car from the burbs down to the city in high winds). But most importantly, I’m not creating stories around my process, nor am I wasting time trying to predict the future. I’m simply doing what feels good, day after day, and in that – I’m finding a safe place to land.
So, with all of that being said, I just want to say thanks to all of you. Thanks for holding space for me. Thanks for allowing me to move in and out of my creative endeveours and to walk the walk with what I preach; which is to take time for myself to heal and to move through things and find the next place. I hope you all remember to do the same when you’re going through changes, pain, adjustments, discomfort, what have you. I hope you never feel the pressure to give more than you can in the moment – we’re all just human beings doing our very best, day in and day out. I’m so happy to be back with all of you. Let the healing (and consciousness) resume. x
PS: If you live in the Chicago area, I wanted to share a photo special that I’m holding for boudoir sessions alongside my talented hair & makeup artist of a friend, Deb. Slots are starting to fill up, but there are still some left (we’re hosting them all day!) Below is some more information, and you can check out my photography website here.