I can recall just about every single time I’ve felt a shift in my life — a change that occurred without my permission. It just, happened. I’ve always been open to growth and learning — easily adaptable to different situations and scenarios, so these “shifts” as I’m calling them have never been all that ground breaking, because at the end of the day, I was still stuck somehow. Still unable to find the root of my essence. Sure, that may sound intense, but really at the core of it all, that’s what each of us are designed to seek out — to live out.
I spoke about this a little over here, but this sufficient change — not even in the same wheelhouse as those previous shifts — started almost two months ago while I was staying in San Francisco with my sister. I was knee deep in the book I was telling you about, things were clicking, and my insides started to feel different. Calmer, quieter, more grounded. My sister would ask me a question and I would take pause, where as before I would always say the first thing that came to mind, never even giving my intuition a chance to catch up. I noticed this. I relished in it and it made me excited, but instead of claiming some new title of “forever changed”, I just kept going with the motions. I kept leaning into the natural turn that my life was taking. It was all about trust at this point.
Then, about a month later — still committed to my journaling process, I started breaking ground that I didn’t know I needed to work through. I started to learn how to speak to my intuition; to ask her questions — to find out what she needs and what she doesn’t. I started using this as a road map to get back to the core of my human experience. To become unstuck in a society that so easily allows us to believe whatever it is we want about ourselves, that somehow that’s our truth.
During this process, I paired intense free journaling with a regular tarot card pull, epsom salt baths, meditation and significant amounts of reading about spiritual healing and the after-life. I started meeting with healers (shamans, astrology readers) and getting reiki sessions to get back into balance.
Why, you might ask? Well for one, I’m curious by nature. Two, my intuition was guiding me to find out more of my make-up. I feel super connected to the universe and in a way, I always have, so it only made sense that I pursue this further as it directly applies to my life. Third, so much of my being stuck has revolved around the loss of my dad. Any time I would feel like I was crumbling, or I got sad, or I felt like something wasn’t lining up, I’d go into this deep hole of sadness and circle it all around my grieving process. It was almost like I was blaming it all on my loss — it was my crutch. It was heartbreaking and down right exhausting. I was letting my entire being be consumed by something that was completely out of my control, and quite honestly, something that wasn’t even the actual root of my problem.
Turns out, I was the root of my problem.
So, here I am. Healing myself from the inside out and getting out of my own way. I’ve got to tell you, I’ve never loved life more than I do right now.
PS: I’m launching the private Facebook group for The Calm Collective community in the next couple of weeks! Request to join and get a FREE guide, plus access to private videos, TCC updates, shop discounts and more. xx1