Letting go is quite literally one of the hardest things a human can do. Regardless of it being a material possession, a human life, or a relationship — the act of letting go can be excruciatingly uncomfortable. I know first hand. I’ve gone through it when I said goodbye to my father, when I’ve let go of toxic friendships and relationships, when I cleared out my clutter for the first time in my life, when I helped my mom donate some of my dad’s clothes, etc.
It’s all awful, but it’s for the greater good.
The catch? Much like everything else in life that revolves around personal growth — you have to do it for the right reasons. You can’t let go because someone else is asking you to, and you certainly can’t let go if you yourself don’t find the value in it.
One of the best ways that I’ve discovered what was worth letting go of in my life is through free journaling (I know, you’re shocked). But it’s true — it’s opened up so many truths that were hidden away, and has shown me SO much about who I am to the core, which in turn, brings forth what’s holding me back or hurting me in some way. I’ve also been diving in head first to different healing mechanisms which have been profound for me: shamans, reiki, astrology charts, human design readings, personal development books, herbs, etc.
What have I let go of? Some of these have been settled for a while now, while others are more recent (within the past 2-3 months)
+ Impulse spending on items that I don’t need
+ Drinking wine out of boredom or to ease any social anxiety (I have maybe 1 glass a week now)
+ Sleeping with my phone in my room
+ Old notes from middle school and high school that brought up negative emotions
+ Old report cards where I didn’t do well
+ A friendship rooted in negativity
+ Toxic memories that I was carrying around from a previous relationship
+ Mindlessly scrolling on Instagram
+ Working for free
+ Checking my phone and email first thing in the morning (I wait until around noon)
+ A relationship with a family member
+ Staying up late, getting up early
+ Scheduling anything before 11am
+ Multiple cups of coffee in the morning (I’m down to half a cup or I have this instead, and then follow it with herbal tea)
See how some of those are so small and mundane, while others are big and a little scary? The thing is is that even the small things add up to energy that I’m exhausting throughout my life every single day. The longer that’s my reality, the longer I keep what isn’t serving me in rotation. That energy could (and now is!) be put forth elsewhere, with so much positivity and light behind it. The moment I let those things go from my life, was the moment that I could –
a) learn the lesson behind why they showed up in the first place
and b) be free to live my life in completely harmony with how I want it to feel
While some of these will take time to let go of (i.e a relationship with a close friend or family member, for instance) try to stay grounded in your self worth. That’s the leading force here.
You deserve to live your life in conjunction with your worth.
The tricky part? Only you know what that worth equates to. But I will say this, though there is so much fear that rides alongside the decision to let go — there is no sense in living our lives to meet other people’s needs, my love. Now when I say that, I don’t mean that we shouldn’t be taking care of others. By nature, I’m a caretaker. I love nurturing those in my life ten-fold — but I nurture the ones who treat me well, and I nurture them on my terms.
It all comes down and back around to self care and self worth.
If you fear no longer drinking because you don’t know if your friends will think you’re fun — you should probably question your friendships. If you think you’ll never get opportunities unless you work for free, you should probably tune in to your lack of worth.
And as long as those two things are in alignment with one another, then holy hell is life a beautiful thing to live out each day. Let go of what isn’t meant for you — here for you, should you need it. x // firstname.lastname@example.org
PS: The Taboo Subject of Toxic Relationships & How To Be More Content With Life // Illustration for purchase via Siret, here.