How to Support a Friend Through Loss During the Holidays

How To Support a Friend Through a Loss During the Holidays - The Calm Collective

Image via Cassandra Photo

Last week, I put out a poll on Instagram asking what kind of content that you would all like to see over here on the blog this holiday season. So many of you wanted to hear about how to stay calm and present during the holiday chaos that no doubt ensues each and every year. I love this topic, and have every intention of circling back to this soon, but I wanted to focus on a specific question that made it’s way into my DMs:

“Do you have any suggestions on helping a friend through the holiday season with a recent breakup?”

This one hit home, as since most of you know, my dad passed away just 8 days before Christmas.

Whether the person you’re trying to support is going through a permanent loss of a family member or a loved one, or they’ve had their heart broken, grief is still the word at play here. It doesn’t only subject itself to a human leaving Earth-side.

I had never experienced grief other than an actual, physical loss before – but I fully understand that it, too, plays a part in a relationship coming to an end. You’re grieving your life with that person, the traditions you formed, the space they kept, how they made you feel, how you felt when you were with them, the time that you had invested into the relationship, etc.

A girlfriend of mine sent me this quote recently and my jaw hit the floor. It’s so true, so I encourage you to pass it along to your friend as well:

“What if you don’t actually miss that person? What if you just miss the space that they held. The way they made you feel. What they brought out in you. And because they could bring it out in you, you can bring it out in you because they are only a reflection of you. So you’re really just missing a part of yourself that you haven’t been connected with in a while, and that they were called in – by you – to help you return back to.” 


How To Support a Friend Through a Loss During the Holidays - The Calm Collective

This isn’t meant to take away any of her feelings of missing the physical form of this human, but within this quote lies so much truth. We merely reflect bits and pieces of ourselves onto other people – so whatever has her in pain, encourage her to see it as a way to reconnect with herself.

Remind her that those who are single aren’t always lonely, and those who are taken aren’t always in love.

Remind her that pain is actually growth, and when you feel like you’re buried, you’re really just planted.

Remind her that the holidays aren’t defined by whether or not you have a partner, but whether or not you have something to be thankful for.

The fact that she has a friend like you showing up on her behalf, to help her heal, to hold space for her during this difficult transition, shows me that she does. x


• Still shopping for the holidays? You can check out my gift guides right here: For Him | For Her

• In relation to today’s post, you can read all about how to support someone going through chemotherapy right here.

• Interested in one-on-one Mindfulness or Grief Coaching with me? Click here for more information on how to set up your first call.

• Join hundreds of others by signing up for the Monday Mindfulness e-mail series and receive your FREE guide of Mindfulness from A-Z.

• Lastly, join the private Facebook group and meet other like-minded people just like you on the path to creating your best life entered around balanced, mindful living.


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