3 Ways to Overcome the Need for Validation

3 Ways to Overcome the Need for Validation - The Calm Collective

Off-white raw hemmed jeans

It’s no secret that the moment we learn to walk or say our first word, we start seeking for outside validation that no longer exists within our selves. We’re applauded when we say our first word, we’re applauded when we walk from point A to point B without falling down, we’re applauded when we bring home a report card with straight A’s and we’re applauded when we say something funny.

It’s euphoric — gaining other’s approval. 

Until it’s not. 

Until we lose our true sense of self in the act of how we live our lives.  It’s a dangerous line to cross — the line between living for ourselves and living for others. If something doesn’t gain the attention we were hoping for, we drop it entirely never to touch it again. 

The joke you told where no one laughed? You never speak of it again.

The book you wrote that no one picked up? You burned all the pages.

The sweater that you love, but didn’t get any compliments? You donated it the next day.

The little things that make up who we are — our sense of humor, our inner voice, our sense of style, to name a few.. how easily we sacrifice it all just to fit in.

But fit in to what?

Free Mindfulness from A-Z eBook by Cassandra Eldridge of The Calm Collective

There is no one size fits all in this life, nor will there ever be. Because what’s “ideal” to one person is the complete opposite to another. 

Free yourself from it. From all of it.

Allow yourself to breathe new life into the things you love, and to not make apologies for it. Watch what happens when you speak your truth, walk your walk, and wave your flag without any expectations from the rest of the world.

They won’t be able to take their eyes off of you.


Because we don’t live like this anymore.

3 Ways to Overcome the Need for Validation - The Calm Collective

You become magnetic.  And when you become magnetic, you light up the room.

And when you light up the room, you inspire others.

When you inspire others, you create change. 

3 ways to Overcome the Need for Validation

Learn to trust your own intuition, first

When you familiarize yourself with your intuition, you quickly realize that She’s more than willing to do all of the heavy lifting for you. No work on your end is required. Flow with her, and your authenticity can’t be fought. 

Be mindful how you’re speaking

Are you speaking just to get a reaction? Are you over exaggerating in conversation? Are you seeking approval through the questions that you ask? Be mindful of the words that are coming out of your mouth. Speak from your heart, your intuition, your soul. If you’re unclear of what She has to say, listen instead.

Surrender to indifference 

Understand that you cannot please everyone, and no matter how hard you try, you never will. Find a sense of freedom and internal release in that fact. As the saying goes: 

“You can be the juiciest, ripest peach in the world and there is still going to be someone who doesn’t like peaches.”

Free Mindfulness from A-Z eBook by Cassandra Eldridge of The Calm Collective

PS: Are you all caught up on the Podcast? You can listen to all episodes right here on iTunes, or here for all other devices. x


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